Try Not To Use Your Energy For Worry!
Friday, January 4th, 2008
Worry is something we often fall into due to anticipation that a certain future event won’t happen or perhaps (if it’s negative) that it will occur. In zen they say that “the way is not difficult for those who have no preferences”.
This means that being open to the moment is ultimately much more fulfilling than to have a certain concept of the way that things HAVE to be in order to be fulfilled. Once you have a definite set preference, if anything deviates from that, you’ll be unhappy.
How many times have you worried about something for days and weeks that never even happened? Do you remember worrying about something happening but it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be when it actually took place? Worry uses up a lot of our resources.
When you worry you aren’t in the moment but you are in the fear of what “may” happen. Think of the time you lose when you worry. For instance if you have a romantic pinic planned and there is a 50/50 chance of rain that Saturday, you can find yourself concerned about that during the week. Think about the time you lost with your family , loved ones or lost concentration due to worrying.
A lot of our worry can be eliminated by realizing we don’t have to force life to turn out a certain way all the time. To worry means that we assume that if things don’t match the picture we have we won’t be happy.
We can all remember some situations that we didn’t have control over that turned out positively. For instance, in the movie Hitch, Will Smith is a dating consultant and gives his client (Kevin James) dating advice to improve his image and outcome with the woman he is drawn to that he believes would never give him a second look.
It turns out that it was the imperfections of Kevin James’s character (including dropping mustard on his shirt) that were part of his charm appeal to the woman! These characteristics made her feel better about her own insecurities.
Perfection and smoothness isn’t what makes life lovable. When things aren’t controlled, sponantaneous events occur that give us special moments provided we can look at life with humor and joy.
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