Self-Help

When you think of being happy, you probably think about external factors in your life, such as having a comfortable place to live, money to fund your lifestyle, and more. 

While those things can certainly contribute to a greater sense of well-being and contentment, they rarely create happiness on their own.

Rather, genuine happiness is usually the result of less tangible factors.  Below you’ll find three of the major factors that can help you to create a life of true joy and happiness, regardless of the state of your outer circumstances:

• Purpose

A seemingly aimless existence often leads to an increased sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction in all areas of your life.  On the other hand, when you believe that your life has purpose and meaning, you automatically experience greater focus, vitality and happiness.  Your life purpose doesn’t have to be a major “calling” like becoming a nun or missionary; you can find purpose in any kind of situation! 

Make it your purpose to have a fulfilling career in any field, or set a benchmark of achievement for your children to exceed someday.  Choose a cause that is important to you and devote your life to supporting it.  Ultimately it doesn’t matter what purpose you choose for your life; just that it’s important to you.

• Self-love

True happiness and contentment must be accompanied by genuine self-love.  When you truly love and respect yourself, everything seems to run more smoothly in your life.  You get along better with others, you feel stronger and more balanced, and you don’t tend to take challenges so personally.  Rather than seeking love and acceptance from others, give it to yourself!  Speak kindly to yourself and build yourself up as often as you can.  The more you do, the happier you’ll feel.

• Confidence

Confidence makes you feel more in control of your life, which cannot help but make you feel happier too.  Not only are you better able to stand up for yourself and avoid being taken advantage of; confidence also helps you to believe in yourself and your capabilities, which gives you the power and determination to create a truly happy and fulfilling life.

There are other factors that contribute to greater happiness, but these three are probably the most pervasive. 

Simply by fostering these three qualities in yourself and your life, you’ll begin to shift toward a more purposeful, gentle, fulfilling and empowering existence.

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When it comes to feeling happy and content, your attitude plays an important role.  A negative attitude keeps you focused on the negative side of your situation. 

You spend more time thinking about what you don’t have; the opportunities you missed out on, the terrible things that have happened to you in the past, and the awful things that might happen to you in the future.

At the opposite end of the spectrum is the “Happiness Attitude,” which is slightly different than a mere positive attitude!  A positive attitude is certainly a good place to start because it helps you to feel better and think more positively overall, but the Happiness Attitude also includes a concrete decision to live your life from a focus of happiness and joy – which can elevate your attitude to a whole new level!

If you’re ready to adopt a genuine Happiness Attitude in your own life, read on for some easy ways to do it:

• Appreciation

The Happiness Attitude requires an ongoing commitment to appreciation and gratitude in every moment.  Not only should you appreciate the bigger stuff like your family, home, job, friends, and health, but also the smaller blessings like getting a good deal on a new pair of shoes, receiving a compliment, or even catching a glimpse of a beautiful bird outside your window. 

• Optimism

Optimism is a huge component of the Happiness Attitude because it requires a conscious decision to expect the best, no matter what!  Rather than obsessing and worrying about the negatives, you’ll commit to giving most of your attention to the great things coming your way.

• Confidence

Feeling unsure of yourself or your capabilities contributes to a negative attitude – and is the direct opposite of the Happiness Attitude.  By building your confidence and affirming your capabilities to do anything you desire, you’ll feel strong, powerful and more in control of your overall happiness.

• Trust

A Happiness Attitude means also trusting yourself to make the right decisions that will create greater happiness and fulfillment in your life.  These decisions may not always be easy, but by choosing to believe in yourself and trust your inner vision, you play an active part in creating the life circumstances that will make you happiest.

• Flexibility

A rigid mind-set often fosters stagnation and negativity, which detracts from your happiness.  A Happiness Attitude, on the other hand, encourages greater flexibility and resourcefulness, which aids you in overcoming obstacles and facing challenges.

• Balance

A negative attitude can make you feel like you have to work excessively hard to get ahead, which only leads to stress and burnout.  With a genuine Happiness Attitude, you’ll find it easy to balance all aspects of your life and create a genuine sense of happiness and fulfillment.

In our ongoing quest for happiness and contentment, we often find ourselves accumulating ever increasing piles of “stuff.” 

However, the more “stuff” we accumulate, the more we begin to realize that we don’t feel happier at all; we feel overwhelmed, crowded and scattered.

How easy it is to forget that when it comes to happiness, simplicity is key!  Even though we know on some level that all this stuff won’t make us happy, we still keep getting pulled in by clever marketing and our own constant yearning for something more.

But what if the “something more” we crave is not more “stuff” but rather simplicity and order?  What if, by simplifying our lives we could finally enjoy a deeper sense of freedom, peace and happiness?

If you’re ready to stop living under the hypnotic spell of “more stuff,” here are three easy ways to begin simplifying your life and enjoying a happier, more peaceful way of life:

1) Clear Out Your Home, Vehicle And Workspace

Are you surrounded by stacks of books you’ve already read, DVDs or videos you’ve seen dozens of times and miscellaneous clutter covering every available surface? Is your vehicle a catch basin for trash and belongings you haven’t put away?  Is your workspace crowded with old paperwork?  Clear it all out!  When you start clearing out your surroundings, you’ll notice immediately that you feel lighter and less scattered.

2) Clear Your Mind

Are you constantly burdened by worrisome or negative thoughts?  A chaotic life can increase anxiety and stress, which can make you feel scattered and forgetful. Begin a daily practice of clearing your mind through meditation.  Set aside 10 minutes once or twice a day to let go of anxious thoughts and focus on nothing.  Sit in silence or listen to soothing music, but focus only on your breathing and being in the moment.  Doing this on a regular basis will help you feel more centered, calm and focused.

3) Achieve Closure

Do you have a lot of unresolved issues, unpaid bills or otherwise unfinished projects?  When did you last file away old paperwork or kiss a bad habit goodbye?  When we leave things unfinished in our lives, we tend to carry them with us mentally and emotionally until we “officially” release them. 

Over time, you’ll feel the weight of these situations if you don’t resolve them once and for all.  Start by thinking about your old relationships.  Have you left things unsaid?  Have you refused to let go of someone emotionally even if you have moved on physically?  Write a letter and tell those people everything you want them to know. 

You don’t have to mail the letter so you can easily use the process for people you no longer see or even those who are deceased.  Simply write out your thoughts and feelings on the matter, then either burn the paper or rip it into shreds and throw it away.  As you do so, affirm that you are releasing the situation once and for all, and you are now free from any lingering emotional or mental burdens regarding it.

Also be sure to achieve closure on everything else that you can, like canceling old memberships or subscriptions you no longer need, filing away paperwork that is no longer needed, and completing projects you’ve started. 

With closure comes peace, and with peace usually comes greater happiness!

Are you yearning for a greater sense of happiness in your life but feel weighed down by problems?  If so, try adopting an attitude of lightheartedness and watch how quickly it can inject an element of fun and whimsy into your life.

Here are three simple ways to do it:

1) Play

Most of us tend to take life so seriously.  Sure, life can definitely be serious at times, and there are certainly things that we should take seriously - but we also don’t need to be so serious ALL the time!  Instead, try your best to have more fun as often as you can.  Either spend time doing things you enjoy, or simply make your regular activities more fun.  Not sure that your regular activities can be fun? 

Nearly any task or chore can be lightened up a bit - even mundane chores around the house.  Take, for example, house work or yard work.  Who says you have to grudgingly perform those tasks?  Why not put on some funky music and dance around while you do them?  Why not listen to a stand-up comedy routine on CD and laugh while you do them?  All it takes is a shift in perspective to make something fun and lighthearted.

2) Get Inspired

If you’re used to directing most of your focus toward lack or negativity, it can be helpful to start lifting your perspective to a higher place.  One way to do that is to purposely concentrate on things that inspire you.  You can read uplifting books or watch inspirational movies; or even buy a book of motivational quotes and read a few each day. 

You can also choose to be inspired by the things you see in your daily travels.  For example, rather than rushing distractedly to and from appointments, take a few minutes to pause and gaze around.  Notice how the sunshine plays on the trees and flowers, making them glow with beauty. 

Rather than getting annoyed at your children when they play with their dinner, marvel at their creativity and sense of humor.  Take a walk during your lunch hour and breathe deeply of the fresh air, smile at strangers and make an effort to remember what a miracle life is.  No matter how you do it, let your heart and mind soar to a place of joy and inspiration, and you’ll automatically feel more lighthearted, and happy!

3) Unload Your Worries

It’s difficult to feel lighthearted and happy when you’re besieged by stress and worry.  Rather than carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders (or in your heart), write your problems and worries on a sheet of paper and place it in a box or drawer.  Affirm that for the next few hours, you’re not going to think about those things.  Then shift your attention to things that make you feel better, like spending time with loved ones or engaging in favorite hobbies. 

When worrisome thoughts pop back into your mind, firmly set them aside again and remind yourself that you’re not going to focus on them right now.  It may sound overly simple but it really works!  With enough practice you eventually reach a point of knowing that worrying and obsessing isn’t helping matters, so you decide not to do it for awhile - and you instantly feel more lighthearted and happy.

When it comes right down to it, feeling happy is a choice you make from moment to moment. 

Happiness won’t make all of your challenges vanish, but choosing to focus more on the lighter side of life can definitely make you feel better – and who knows, it might even give you the mental and emotional distance you need to come up with creative solutions that you would have missed if you’d been too busy worrying!