Self-Help

Do you ever allow fearful thoughts to erode your confidence and diminish your sense of empowerment? 

It’s a common trend for many people, and when you’re stuck in the midst of fear and uncertainty it can seem like an impossible task to pull yourself out of it.

However, fear and empowerment are actually like two opposite sides of the same coin.  On one side is the belief that you are not strong or capable enough to handle challenges or life in general; while on the other side is the certainty that you are fully in control of your own life and have the power to triumph over adversity.

Transforming fear to empowerment is as simple as flipping the coin so it lands on the other side!  The “coin” in this example is a little thing called “perspective.”

In order to release fearful thoughts and become empowered, you need to be willing to see yourself and your life circumstances in a different light.  Here are three easy ways to start:

1) Start small!

Many people believe that in order to empower themselves they need to have massive amounts of courage and inner strength, but that usually comes later.  Instead, be willing to start small and empower yourself more gradually.  Start with one small action that makes you feel nervous and nudge yourself to move forward and do it.  As you face your fear and master one small challenge, you’ll begin to feel stronger and be willing to take on more, which will continue to build your strength and empower you.

2) Affirm your strength.

Fearful thoughts often cause you to doubt yourself, which creates more fearful thoughts!  To reverse this, begin affirming that you’re strong and capable as often as possible – and most especially when you begin to feel disempowered.  Affirm not only your strength and capability, but your flexibility, resiliency and resourcefulness to handle anything that comes your way.  The more you affirm it, the more you’ll begin to believe it.

3) See the unknown as a good thing.

Fear of the unknown is one major factor in feeling disempowered.  You’ve likely gotten used to seeing the “unknown” (anything you haven’t encountered before) as a bad thing, with dangers and pitfalls lurking around every corner. 

Most often you don’t even know why you feel fearful, you just believe there is reason to feel that way!  However, if you instead shift that perception to one of optimism and enthusiasm for the unknown, you’ll feel less threatened and develop the willingness to do and dare more.

When it comes right down to it, empowerment is usually nothing more than a choice; being willing to believe that you are stronger than any challenge or difficulty that arises. 

The more you focus on releasing fearful thoughts and strengthening your belief in yourself, the less intimidated you’ll feel by outer influences.

Welcome back!

The way you speak to yourself mentally and verbally has a powerful impact on your self-image… 

Berating or belittling yourself, minimizing your achievements or doubting your capabilities will most definitely create a sense of disempowerment, limiting your potential in virtually every aspect of your life.

On the other hand, positive and encouraging self-talk will contribute to inner strength and self-respect, which will drastically alter the way you see yourself and your potential in life.

Self-talk is like a recording that constantly plays in your mind, and much of the time you’re unaware of it because it occurs on a subconscious level.  The messages you receive from this recording can include limiting beliefs that were formed throughout your lifetime, as well as negative or derogatory input from your present environment.

The good news is that these recorded messages CAN be changed!  It’s even quite simple to do, but requires commitment, determination and consistent effort.

Below are a few simple ways you can use positive self-talk to change your mental recording and empower yourself:

Build yourself up.

If you’ve gotten used to tearing yourself down, you may not even notice how harshly you speak to yourself – but you’ll find yourself feeling sad, frustrated or guilty without understanding why.

To turn this around, you simply need to begin making a conscious choice to build yourself up as often as possible.  Get into the habit of speaking encouragingly and expressing positive thoughts about yourself. 

For example, rather than saying, “Oh, you are such an idiot!” when you make a mistake, say, “Hey, that’s all right, everyone makes mistakes!  Next time you’ll do better.”

Look at yourself in the mirror daily and find three positive things to say about yourself.  You can compliment your physical features, personality traits or accomplishments – but be sure they are genuine compliments because your subconscious mind will know if you’re “lying.”

Most importantly, make it a daily habit to speak to yourself like you would a good friend who is in need of support and encouragement.  You’d never say horrible, mean things to them, so don’t say them to yourself either!

Cheer yourself on.

Rather than dreading a difficult task and doubting your capabilities, become your own best cheerleader!  When you’re getting ready to tackle something challenging, take a few minutes to scream and shout mentally that “you can do it; you can do it; you can do it!”

Also, be sure to regularly praise yourself for a job well done.  These don’t have to be big accomplishments – just something to which you gave your best effort. 

For example, you could say to yourself, “I’m really proud of the way I handled that rude customer.  I kept my cool and remained professional while I handled the problem.”  Or, “I’m so proud of myself for finishing that project before deadline!  Now I’ve got a couple of hours I can devote to myself, and I definitely deserve some downtime.”

Love, love, love yourself.

We often have the perception that self-love will happen naturally once we change something about ourselves (like losing weight or achieving a goal) but self-love has to come first!  Begin expressing love for yourself exactly as you are on a regular basis.  Love yourself not for the things you’ve done or plan to do, but WHO you are. 

Love your uniqueness, your personality, your character traits and everything else that makes you who you are.  The more you love yourself, the stronger and more positive you’ll feel about your life.

You may feel silly following some of these suggestions at first because they’re likely different from the way you normally treat yourself. 

But the more you work with them and focus on having fun with them, the more effective they’ll be in erasing those old, negative messages and replacing them with more positive, empowering messages.

When it comes to personal empowerment, feeling strong and grounded is crucial.  Without a perception of yourself as strong and resilient, you’ll find yourself cowering in the face of challenges; feeling intimidated by other people, and weighed down by your own fears and insecurities.

A strong person, on the other hand, knows that he or she can handle life’s challenges and triumph over any adversity.

There are four key areas where strength needs to be built in order to fully empower yourself:

Mental Strength.

Mental strength includes qualities such as clarity, focus, determination and positive self-image.

Are you confident, self-assured and proud of who you are?  Do you know exactly where you’re headed in life and exactly how to get there?  Do you feed your mind with positive fuel each day and push yourself to move beyond your comfort zones?

If not, you’ll want to start building your mental strength by developing a stronger focus and transforming limiting or negative thoughts.  Your thoughts form the basis for your life and determine the way you see yourself in the grand scheme of things.  Make it your mission to strengthen your mind, change unproductive habits and improve limiting perceptions.

Emotional Strength.

Emotional strength pertains to your level of resiliency, flexibility and your beliefs.

How well do you handle the stress of life?  Do you tend to take things personally?  Do you cringe when someone says something negative about you?  Are you easily upset by minor conflicts?  Are you afraid to assert yourself?

Emotional strength is all about being tough and resilient in the face of adversity – being flexible enough to bend without breaking, in other words.  A good place to start is by making yourself feel loved and valued on a daily basis.  A strong foundation of self-love and respect will help you to feel stronger, but it will also reduce your need to seek validation and acceptance from others.  Also important is gaining control over your emotional state by choosing not to allow external influences to upset you.  Avoid taking things personally and learn to become more self-contained, impervious to situations that threaten to upset your emotional balance.  Finally, get into the habit of stepping back emotionally and challenging beliefs that don’t serve you.

Spiritual Strength.

Spiritual strength is all about feeling connected and balanced on a deeper level.

Do you have a regular spiritual practice that you engage in daily or weekly?  Do you feel connected and guided by a power greater than yourself?  Do you feel like your life has meaning and purpose?

This has nothing to do with religion, but everything to do with your own perception that there is more to you than your physical body.  It doesn’t matter which religion you practice (or if you practice none at all) – it matters only that you choose to believe that there is a reason for your existence and you feel supported and loved by a power greater than yourself.  Spend time in daily meditation or visualization to help foster a deeper connection between yourself, the universe, and others.

Physical Strength.

Physical strength may seem to be the least important of these four cornerstones of empowerment, but it is actually one of the most crucial.  Have you ever noticed that people who are physically strong usually carry themselves with more confidence and feel better about themselves?  When you feel strong physically, you tend to perceive the rest of you as being strong and capable too! 

Are you in good physical shape?  Do you eat well and exercise frequently?  If not, you’ll want to take steps to get your body back into the best shape you can.  Speak to your physician about starting a fitness regime, and begin treating your body like a cherished temple. 

Give particular attention to nutrition, rest, and self-care.  As your body becomes stronger you should notice positive changes elsewhere too.