Anxiety of Change
No one likes change, but sometimes things happen we didn’t plan or expect and we find ourselves in unknown territory. There are a number of situations that put us in this position including employment changes, financial losses, divorce, a child leaving for college or an illness we contract.
At first with a big change we want to curl up into a ball and see if our old life can return. After this stage of denial passes, depression tends to set in and there’s a recognition that the old life is gone.
Often it’s easy to get nostaligic about the past and not view the negative parts we used to experience. We tend to idealize something once we long for it and make it into a fairy tale.
Change stretch us and we are forced to use spiritual and psychological muscles we aren’t used to using in order to acheive a new plane of existence. When we feel an emptiness inside, we discover new options and step outside of our old ways. In exercise sometimes we have soreness due to working with unused muscles.
This happens when we stretch ourselves psychologically and spiritually as well. We’re working with parts of ourselves that have not been challenged. When you think about it, you can see that they were actually getting flabby and now, due to this catalyst, we are growing.
There is a zen quote that says, “Don’t hope for life without problems. An easy life results in a judgmental and lazy mind.”
A part of ourselves can tell that we are growing and getting beyond the old pattern even if we don’t like the unknown and scary feelings inside of us that are stimulated by the loss of our familiar world.
What we do to deal with these feelings is critical. It is helpful to breath, relax the muscles of chest and shoulders and sit in the new space.
The Simon and Garfunkel song echoes this sentiment when they sing, “Hello darkness my old friend. I’ve come to talk to you again.” Reflect on times that you felt like you were burning up inside but survived. You may have had terrible heartache in 7th or 8th grade due to a romantic relationship ending.
If someone told you when you were twelve that you would be over that person in future you wouldn’t have believed them. We have many moments like that during our life and each of them puts us in touch with our inner resources and ability to expand.
Welcome back!
Comments
Tell me what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!
-
Self-Help Feeds
